My beloved,
My heart rejoices with every passing day in anticipation of our wedding. I think back to when I first met you, that Hershey-eyed girl pretending to not be nervous when she walked up to me. You were so beautiful that day. I’ve told you this several times, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again: I was SO NERVOUS to see you. “Is my hair fine? What if I’m not that funny? What if I’m too nerdy? Is my hair fine? Am I pulling off this cardigan? IS MY HAIR FINE?!” These were just SOME of the questions in my head. But I thank you, my love, for making it easy. I couldn’t ‘aura farm’ my way through that one. You made me feel like all I had to be was me, authentically and unambiguously. I’ll never forget that day, trying to wipe the nervous sweat from my hands before I asked meekly, “can I hold your hand?” and like clockwork you said “yes.”
Since that day there hasn’t been a single moment I haven’t thought about you, my heart. There have been many nights of me talking your ear off for hours about faith and theology, scripture and tradition, my past hurts, and my future dreams. But what’s more is that I got to know you better in those moments. You blossomed for me, my flower, and trusted me with your secrets, your pains, your thoughts, and the pieces left of your heart. I promise to you now, as I did then, that I will guard all these things as I guard you: with my life. I will never betray you; I will never be unfaithful to you, I will never leave you unprotected, I will never lead you away from our Lord, If I can help it, I will never fail to be right by your side when you need me most.
As we approach the day, I can’t help to think about what Scripture has to say about marriage and what is expected of us. I could quote the typical passages like 1 Corinthians 13 or Ephesians 4 but for now I want to meditate with you on John 2, The Wedding at Cana. Our Lord and his disciples are invited to a wedding and Jesus is asked to perform a miracle by Our Lady, the first of his Signs as the Beloved Disciple tells us. I look to this story because it says a lot about what we are about to do, what we are expected to do, and how we are going to do it.
First, what we are about to do. My sweet, desert flower, we are about to be married. To be joined together by the Lord as one as He and His Church are one! This, as St. Paul says, is a great and marvelous mystery. What God brings together, let no man separate. We are about to be no longer separate people, but One. Jesus goes to a wedding to celebrate with the bride and groom, as He is to celebrate with us on our day. He sits on the side with our family and friends celebrating this great occasion of true love becoming solidified in the bond of marriage. Mary is also there, as every mother does, trying to make sure that everything goes well and helping where she can. So too is Mary going to be at our wedding, Our Mother, helping us and caring for us. Let us never forget to give Glory and Honor to Jesus, Our Lord, Our King, and Our God who gave Himself for us.
Second, what we are expected to do. My dear, we are expected, like the bride and groom at their wedding, to be faithful until the end to one another. To cherish and honor one another, to seek God for and with one another. Through difficulty, poverty, sickness, I am yours. Unequivocally. Unambiguously. Uncompromisingly. Unquestionably. (*thinking of more words that can be ly-ified*) Faithfully. I give you my whole self, my love, please accept it. I am so happy to walk with you on this journey to eternity. I thank my God for you, beloved, for he has truly blessed me with a partner I can be unashamed with and love until the end of my days. Selah.
Thirdly, how we are going to do this. Baby, this is forever. Let it sink in. Divorce is not an option for us. We are in a partnership blessed by God that he, himself, will solidify. He has called us to the gifts and obligations of marriage. We can’t disgrace our marriage by accepting the gifts but not the obligations. Things will be hard, things will be dry at some point, but I will never stop loving you. Why? Because I have Him. We have Him who said, ‘Don’t not be afraid, for I have overcome the world’ and ‘I will lose none that my Father has given me’ and of whom the angel said, ‘you look for Jesus of Nazareth, but he is not here, FOR HE HAS RISEN! As he said’. My love, all I seek to say here is that we will get through anything because we have Him who has triumphed over death on our side, he who IS, and WAS, and IS TO COME.
If I can give glory to my God for you for just another moment: You have helped the Lord sanctify me in ways I’m not sure you truly understand. You have taught me to not be so quick to anger and frustration with things I cannot control, The Lord used you to highlight the work I needed and is carrying me the rest of the way through it. I think it is true to say that we have learned a crucial truth together serving the Lord, if we truly loved one another, we would not hesitate to change for one another, as we both have changed for our blessed Lord. I thank you for growing for me, even though it was difficult at times.
My sweet woman, I am ready to be your husband. I am ready for the joy, the laughs, the cries, the storms, the sunny days and the cloudy days. I am ready for it all with you.
I love you…. For all time…Always
Yours and no one else’s,
—H
Glory Be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Penn Epistle 